Stars: Hiroshi Tamura, Kirara Yugao
A woman walking home late at night is attacked by an unknown assailant who knocks her out with chloroform. When she regains consciousness, she finds herself tied to a bed in a blood-splattered dungeon, at the mercy of a white-faced man in a samurai helmet who wants to turn her into a “flower of flesh and blood”. He then proceeds to slowly dismember and disembowel her as the camera records it all.
Japanese snuff month comes to a close with definitely the most notorious film in the genre. That’s right, it’s the second film in everyone’s favourite heptalogy (unless you’re interested in child wizards), the “Guinea Pig” series. Before you get too upset about snuff month coming to a close however, I shall be reviewing the rest of the none snuffy “Guinea Pigs” in the coming weeks. Yay! Well, I won’t bother with part seven as it’s basically just a “best of” compilation and I think I’ll be covering everything in the initial six reviews. Anyway, back to part two. This is kind of a re-enactment of a “real” snuff video that the filmmakers got sent to them. We know the drill by now, there’s not much plot to talk of, it’s just wall to wall torture and this one certainly doesn’t disappoint in that aspect. So let’s see what all the bloody fuss is about then.
We’re somewhere in Japan and a Woman, I think I’ll call her The Flower, is walking down a dark road and there’s a car following her so she starts running all womanly, but she’s rubbish and seems to be getting nowhere. Outfit update: She’s wearing a black dress with a bright pink belt that perfectly matches her bright pink shoes. I’d love to know where she’s been, or where she’s heading to, but it’s never revealed unfortunately, character development isn’t this film’s strong point, mental gore is. So a guy eventually gets out of the car and chases her ass through a park before catching and chloroforming her. As we see that one of her snazzy shoes has slipped off, we get an equally snazzy title screen. It’s a good start all round.
The Flower awakes tied to a bed in a danky room with bizarre artwork on the wall. I reckon it might be a torture dungeon to be honest. She notices a man in a samurai helmet and with a set of teeth that wouldn’t look out of place on The Jeremy Kyle Show, sharpening some knives in front of a wall that looks like it has blood on it. It’s not looking good, The Flower. I think Ill call this guy The Samurai. The Samurai gets a rooster/chicken thing from a box and starts waving it at The Flower’s face as she screams. I’m guessing she’s not a massive fan of poultry. He then tells her, “This is your fate” and cuts it’s head off. More screaming, he’s just showing off at this point. By the way, he didn’t really kill it. This is Japanese snuff, not an Italian cannibal film!
Next up we see The Samurai mixing some narcotics with water. He has a taste and nods his head like a French chef. After collecting some of the good shit in a syringe, he’s on The Flower, groping her for no real reason until he injects it into her thigh. Seriously though, he touched her flange about five times, I’m just wondering if the actress was aware this was going to happen, I always think that. So yeah, as soon as he injects her she’s tripping her tits off. There’s a drop of blood where the needle went in so The Samurai has a cheeky taste then cuts her dress off with a pair of scissors. For some reason she’s wearing a nighty underneath the dress (of course it’s pink), well that gets cut off too and we’re down to her undies (pink, pink, pink). Two more snips and it’s jugs and muff time!
Ah. We cut to a bit later on and now she’s all naked but with a white sheet covering her. It looks like we’re not going to see so much as a bum cheek. I guess this actress, who’s big break was in a torture snuff film, didn’t have “will show baps” on her resume. Unlucky, lads, I wonder why she never worked again. So The Samurai stabs her with a spike thing then looks into the camera and tells us that she can’t feel pain because she’s all trippin’ and in fact, she’s getting pleasure from the torture. What? I want to see crying and screaming and begging and naked ladies. This film is starting to go down in my estimation. The samurai basically tells us that he wants to start at her wrists and he turns on a light that has a red filter on it. Again, pretty snazzy for a psychotic mental.
So over he goes and after producing a flick knife he starts to cut off her left hand. Well, what this film lacks in screaming and tits, it sure makes up for in gore effects. This is wonderful, the squishy sounds that the cutting is making and the snapping of bones is music to my ears. After managing to separate the hand from the wrist, it’s still making a clutching motion as he holds it. He quickly cuts off the other hand, changes the light filter to a blue one and tells us he’s about to start on the shoulders. This should be good. Yeah, so he cuts around the shoulder with a knife and then uses a hammer and chisel to get through the bone. Of course, being a fully qualified samurai, he could have just used his sword, but I think he’s having too fun a time using the contents of his tool box. Off pop the arms.
The filter is switched to yellow, which as we all know signifies it’s time for those legs to go. This proves a tricky job, no use for pussy knives here, he spends the next few minutes sawing through her leg until it finally comes away in his hand and he holds it up looking at the bit where the rest of her used to be. Time passes. She’s completely legless now like the Japanese Boxing Helena, and as the light shines green, The Samurai’s all, “Right, now I’m gonna cut her belly open”. Well, he says it more poetically than that to be fair to the crazy bastard. He bloody does as well though, with a scalpel, before ripping out her guts which makes her spit blood on her own face. There’s sausagy intestines all over the place and he loves it.
Have you guessed the next light colour yet? Well done if you said white, you get seventeen points. The Samurai says something about a red necklace and I get all hungry for a decapitation. There’s no pissing about here, he just picks up an axe and takes her head off with one chop, sending it flying across the room and into the wall. Judging by the blood stains on the wall, I’m guessing he’s done this before. Oh, just in case this guy’s not mental enough for you already, he picks up the head and starts necking with it. No? Not weird enough? Okay, he then scoops out her eye with a spoon (squelch, squelch) and friggin’ sucks it. After a quick smoke break, he’s kind enough to give us a little tour of his collection which is basically a room filled with body parts. I really love this scene. The last shot shows another woman walking down the street. I’m guessing she dies.
Okay so again, this is only recommended to the gore hounds, but I don’t know what it is about it for me, it’s the most notorious film of it’s kind and has caused much controversy around the world, but it just doesn’t make me cringe. I can watch it while eating spaghetti without so much as a grimace, which is something I certainly couldn’t say about “Tumbling Doll of Flesh” or “Muzan-e“. I really think it’s the lack of reaction from the victim. Like I said before, I kind of need the screaming and that sense of dread which we do get at the start, but as soon as the drugs get injected I just feel I’m watching a special effects display, and as truly amazing as they are, and I would recommend a viewing of this and the “Guinea Pig” series in general on that basis, it’s just lacking the true horror element. Anyway, it’s time to rest now J-snuff month, sleep well my child. We may no longer have each other, but we do have the memories (please imagine a snuff montage here). Cheers.
And that’s the first ever review of “Flower of Flesh and Blood” without so much as a mention of Charlie Sheen… DOH!
But, but, but… You mentioned Charlie Sheen. I guess I’ll let you off seeing as it’s you mentioning not mentioning him 😉
Bloody ace review there Damian, as per! I’m feeling that the Samurai and Kana from Tumbling should be a couple of Jezza K seeing as both their teeth are horrific. And yes to squishy sounds – instead of listening to whale songs before bed I need this.
After what you said in the last paragraph, I’m feeling there’s definitely a challenge to be had one say to see how much spaghetti can be eaten whilst watching the nastiest films!
I did didn’t I? Okay then, how much do I owe you?
Cheers, Zoe! Good point, Kana’s teeth are bloody horrendous too. I’d definitely watch that episode, I wonder what the subject thing would be, “The snuff directors didn’t pay us and now we can’t get our teeth fixed” I’m actually picturing Jeremy sitting on the stage now, I need to stop.
Yeah, I might make a mix tape for bedtime.
Great idea! I can’t think of a better rating system than the spaghetti challenge. I love spaghetti, but it’s the worst thing to eat when you’re watching a woman having her guts dragged out everywhere.
Just make me a good tea and it’s all settled. Hahaha, fuck sake, I’m totally imagining it now. If there’s a way to edit the films with an episode of Jeremy, we could possibly make the funniest TV ever!
Send me a copy pls? Oooo, appetising! We should 100% do this challenge though, because I’m really feeling eating too much pasta.
Deal!
I’m pretty sure we could manage it, I dunno though, I reckon they’ve possibly had dodgier real stories on there!
Consider it done! Okay, we’ll try it out on the fourth Guinea Pig film, I truly think that would be a test!
Most definitely! i just love the ones where there’s no way she ad sex with anyone else but they ain’t the baby daddy!
I’m up for this! I feel it would be a true measure of how strong our stomachs are. Could be something pretty hilarious!
Mental! I remember one where a 16 year old girl who was a trannie, so she looked like a little boy, was going out with a 60 year old man that dressed as a woman. Is there anything remotely right with that?
This’ll be fun! I hope you’re ready for it because if this one is too easy I know of some pretty disgusting fetish films that will test anyone. Someone’s chunks are gonna fly!
WTF? I think we’re meant to be okay with that, but deep down I think we’re all really, really, weirded out.
You know the strangest films… I’ll never ask how you know them all. Chunky Chowder is making his debut appearance!
Hey, I’m a pretty liberal minded guy, but that just creeps me out.
I do, and one day I might just tell you my secret. Some of the things I’ve seen those crazy Japanese girls do is mind boggling!
I’m liberal too, but some things are just odd.
I look forward to knowing this secret!
All I ever think of is ping pongs, but I feel there is many other talents those ladies have! They need to teach us prude Englsih gals some tricks!
Really, there’s some things you never need to shove up there. Leave it to the pros.
Gross, gross, gross. Never clenched my legs together so intently.
There’s a whole series of films that deal solely with sea creatures.
Do you know what I hate the most in the world? The sea. I’m frightened. I’m so frightened. I’m not sleeping.
I’m totally with you there. The thought of being deep down in the sea scares the pants off me. I once had a dream where I was in the middle of the ocean and it was all just blue, but there was this big shadow moving around me in the distance. I’ll never forget that.
That genuinely terrifies me. I think it’s exactly that, which is so scary. The vastness of the place, along with shadows and the fact we don’t know what’s down in the depths….
Yeah, and the poster for Jaws has always shit me up!
Yeah, fuck that film! Showed my little brother it the other month and I nearly cried!
I don’t actually think I’ve been in the sea since I watched it.
You’ve made a wise choice there! I’m going on holiday in September and have to face to sea…
I’m gonna be worried about you now. Have you got any armbands?
No, I haven’t 😦 If you never hear from me, you know the sea took me.
Well that’s one way of getting away from me!
But I don’t want to get away from you!
Aww, you cutey.
I’m like a kitten in a blanket!
Meow!
Jeremy Kyle eh? Some of the stuff on that show is too funny and just so embarrassing.
That show reminds me that my life is fucking awesome!
Definitely, if I do watch it, I always think that my life is actually pretty good.
Same. No real dramas; I don’t have a baby, I don’t have ten possible Dad’s, my parents are my own, my mates don’t steal from me haha!
I just always laugh when he says stuff like “Put something on the end of it” and “you lied on every question”.
I don’t think they’d even know what to put on the end of it. Most likely end up using cling film or something. They’re always lying – dirty bastards!
Too funny, they should just all remain celibate, hehe. At least they’d have no dramas to broadcast to the nation.
Celibate? CELIBATE?! What’s that!? Haha! They should, but I quite enjoy the drama!
Yeah the drama is quite fun. They probably don’t know what celibate means, they just shag anything that walks, hehe.
They certainly don’t! As much as we all love a good shag, standards come first, and going for anything walking is NOT a good idea. Big Foot walks…
True, standards must come first. But in the case of this show, I think all standards go out the window.
Standards are nothing to those people… At least we have them!
Yeah, we’re respectable folk, up to a certain extent.
Don’t want to be too respectable, that’s lame!
Yeah living naughty is the way to live.
Interesting thoughts Damian, what’s the theme for this month if Japanese snuff has come to an end?
It’s gonna be the other four Guinea Pig films, Vinnie. There’s something for everyone!
Thanks for the heads up Damian? Can’t you do something sexy on this blog? hehe.
No problem! Well I did review the Walking Dead porno, and I’ve got a few more similar titles lined up.
I’m intrigued, you know me, I can’t help being dirty.
I had no idea you reviewed porn Damian, you dirty devil.
Someone has to!
Sure, someones got to review the constant influx of bedroom acrobatics for all of us, haha.
Then again, it must be hard( pardon the pun) to review a porno, wouldn’t you say?
It’s a challenge I’m willing to accept!
Oh, it will be interesting to read your thoughts in the future Damian.
When I get back into the genre, you’ll be the first to know!
Thanks Damian, us brothers have got each other’s backs, especially when it concerns naughty material.
This guy needs to get himself ON the Jezza show, they paid for some woman to have her teeth sorted out recently.
Great review as ever Damo, made me laugh 🙂 this seems a bit tame compared to some. I’m not surprised you can still eat spaghetti (carbonara?)
Can’t beat Jeremy Kyle for heated debates, bad teeth and guys who can’t keep it in their pants, haha.
“it’s time for those all important DNA results”
If I had a pound for every time I’d heard him say that, I wouldn’t be working anymore! 🙂
Yeah totally agree with you there Emma. He must get tired of saying that sentence. Moral of the story as he always says is “put something on the end of it and sleeping with everyone”.
I like it when he gets angry and calls them “sweetheart” or “darling” in an angry tone lol.
Did you see the episode where that bloke threw the envelope at him and it fluffed up his hair?!!
That was so funny, the way his hair got messed up.
And his “alright mate you starting?” expression….only when closely followed by his bodyguards of course!!
Yeah, I wouldn’t want to mess with his bodyguards, they’re built like brick shithouses.
Unlike Jezza!
True I can’t imagine Jezza taking any of the guests out with his bare hands.
Definitely not! 🙂
It wouldn’t have the same impact if Jezza was some muscle bound Hercules.
No….that’s right! Lol 🙂
I just couldn’t take him seriously if he looked like that, hehe.
Me neither!!!!!
Glad you agree. What happened on the episode you mentioned in the comments earlier of an ex-porn star on the show? I think I missed that episode.
What!? Like, 2 in 3 people that go on there need dental work, why’s she so special?
Thanks, Emma! I wouldn’t say it was tame, but us horror hounds should be okay. I was actually thinking in tomato sauce. I could eat Spag-carbonara under any circumstances!
They were REALLY bad and she got a load of abuse on twitter (nice!) so they sorted her out. Bless!
Jeremy, Graham and the team 🙂
What about…….you’re eating spaghetti carbonara and someone tells you they’re making US remakes of the whole of the Guinea Pig series – directed by Rob Zombie….with a guest scene from Michael Bay. Starring Taylor Lautner who says “I’m so excited to be a part of these moooovies!”
Could you hold down your spaghetti carbonara then?!! Well, could you?!! I know I’m evil mwahahahaha.
Aww, poor girl. I remember one girl who wanted a nose job even though she was really pretty. Jeremy made sure he told her just how pretty he thought she was!
Graham’s a legend!
You’re sick! Want to know the funny thing about all this though? They have just remade this film in America, it’s called “American Guinea Pig: Bouquet of Guts & Gore”! I saw a trailer and it looks cheesy as fuck! Though your Rob Zombie/Michael Bay/Lautner scenario is pretty horrible. You really know how to push my buttons.
Anyway, to answer your question, I’d probably vomit out my spleen.
I knew you’d hate it. And vomiting spleen is about what I expected! (and hoped for…of course).
Lol “American Guinea Pig” the whole title is awful “bouquet! they’re trying to make themselves sound sweeter like Hyacinth Bucket”
But AMERICAN GUINEA PIG just sounds ludicrous, really really ludicrous. Why do they have to Americanize everything? What works in Japan might not necessary work in Hollywood / apple pie America!
Aww I’m glad Jeremy told her she was pretty! He is a good bloke, I do like him actually! And no-one deserves online bullying do they, I hate that kind of thing.
My thoughts exactly. That title is just all kinds of gash isn’t it? And of course I was going to make a Hyacinth Bucket reference, you just got there firs as usual!
Well, he told her she was pretty in the sleaziest way! haha! I think he’s entertaining and I certainly don’t hate him, he’s just too easy to hate and I need a challenge! Yeah, online bullying is shite, that’s why I started to dislike Ricky Gervias.
Oh no! Who did Ricky Gervais bully because let me tell you, you don’t need to stand up for Piers Morgan 🙂
I hate bulling, in general. Hate it! Sometimes I see kids walking to school on their own and there’s a big crowd in front of them. Breaks my heart.
I knew you’d’ like the Hyacinth Bucket reference. Peas in a pod! And is it wrong I still love that show?
I remember an ex porn star was on the Jeremy Kyle show once and it was almost comedic the way he was acting. I wonder if he fancies himself as a lady’s man?! My friend Marie fancies him.
Poor Piers Morgan… Ha, as if! Gervias does it all the time, like he links to critics that haven’t given him a great review and basically gets his fans to bully them. He also once got his followers to go on a “div hunt” and he said he’d retweet the most moronic ones. This obviously caused a lot of abuse and he told them “well done” when they made one person delete their account.
I actually recently just got back into Keeping Up Appearences! I think she’s a genius, seriously!
I’m pretty sure Jezza does fancy himself in general. He does make me laugh. Doesn’t it make you cringe when he says “I like you” to a particular guest?
I could hear that in my head then, Jezza style!!! “I like you” haha, yes amazing 🙂
That doesn’t surprise me about Ricky Gervais. He can be very……what’s the word I’m looking for…..opinionated? Big headed?
Speak of the devil, it was like when he did the interview with Piers Morgan about his controversy hosting the Golden Globes (“I’d like to thank god for making me an atheist”). He was so pig ignorant and argumentative! It was a definite negative trait if you know what I mean. He didn’t have the ability to be able to sit there and say “yeah you’re right…I’m a twat” all he could do was argue his cause, no matter how ridiculous his argument was, being quite childish and embarrassing along the way. He went down a bit in my estimation after that interview, purely because he took himself too seriously.
He’s a prime example of someone who has changed through being famous. Though I’m still a fan because I like his ugly bath faces, he’s a cat lover and I LOVE The Office!! I’m not that keen on much else he’s done (except Extras!). Life’s Too Short was pretty crap, I hate An Idiot Abroad and not seen Derek.
You can’t beat some Keeping Up Appearances! When she falls into the hedge, from Onslow’s barking dog in the car ha ha. She is a genius, it’s the way she falls about and holds onto her hat (or whatever) that makes it so funny!!!
Haha! Apparently Jezza’s not a fan of facebook either.
I haven’t seen the interview with Piers Morgan as I basically wouldn’t be able to hold down my spaghetti. God I hate his chat show, he acts like he’s the new David Frost or something, but it kind of seems less deep when his guests are people like H from Steps.
Anyway, I know what you mean about fame changing him and stuff. Like, he always “pretends” to be big headed and goes on about his awards all the time in interviews, but it gets old and well, I do wonder how much of it is actually a pretence. I wasn’t a fan of extras, again the schtick got old. Get in an A-list celebrity and let them act like a horrible twat. It was the same every week. Derek is just a trainwreck. I’ve actually heard people trying to defend it by saying it’s not meant to be a comedy, it’s a drama. I’ve never felt so forced to care about a character as the woman in it, they even stop midway through an episode to show a montage of her being selfless and helping everyone, but then looking disappointed about how her life’s gone. All this as Coldplay plays. It might be the worst show I’ve ever seen.
Keeping Up Appearances on the other hand, that’s just amazing! Yeah, when she dives into the hedge and the disgusted faces she makes when Onslow does something Common. Poor Richard!
Seriously??? Coldplay? What the fuck?!
Yeah I’d rather watch Keeping Up Appearances! (than many, many TV shows…)
I did really like Extras, still do! I don’t agree with every episode being the same I’m afraid! Series 2 was completely different to series 1, I mean yeah they all had celebrity cameos but they weren’t executed in the same way.
The one really shit episode was the Xmas special, it was far too sentimental. It was embarrassing (except the George Michael cameo which was hilarious).
I don’t really dislike Ricky Gervais as such, but I do always remember that interview with Piers Morgan and finding him quite childish at times. Sometimes it’s better to just admit you’re a twat sometimes than defend yourself to the point you’re blue in the face and talking shit!
And I agree with the on-going “joke” about his awards and stuff. Shut up Ricky!!!!!!!!!
Piers Morgan is a C word!
I’m not saying I hate Extras really, I just thought that bringing in celebs that were acting all JK like, was a bit cheap laugh wise. I did like the sitcom though, what was it called? When the Whistle Blows or something, those bits were funny and Stephen Merchant stole the show.
I kind of want to hate Gervais, but I can’t as he does tend to make me laugh, I’m deffo gonna have to look up this Morgan interview, if I can stomach it.
Piers Morgan is an effing C hole.
Some of the cameos are better than others, but they do honestly work in different ways, not necessarily in a “JK” way ha ha 🙂
Orlando Bloom, Patrick Stewart and Robert Lindsay are among my personal favourites (and Robert Lindsay was in it for less than 5 minutes!)
Haha, yeah When the Whistle Blows! I can hear the theme music now ha ha ha! So shit and low rent haha. I like the gay producers as well especially camp Damo! Oh…my….god. I wrote that before I realised I call you Damo too!!!!
Yeah I don’t hate him, he made The Office and that’s reason enough for me 🙂 plus have you ever seen his ugly bath faces?!!!!
But he IS childish and far from perfect and can be really fucking annoying. Even my dad said he’s so annoying with that laugh. You know the laugh I mean! Mouth wide open, manic eyes, unbelievably smug.
Yeah you should watch it!!! It’s not from Piers UK show, it’s from his US chat show, I only watched it on youtube, following the video I watched of Ricky Gervais most ‘controversial’ moments at the Golden Globes. It was a recommended video and it looked interesting!
I love you Emma and I’m glad you enjoy it. I want you to enjoy things, but I just have a slight niggle. I thought Bloom’s cameo was absolutely awful and okay, girls fancy him, let’s just play on that the whole episode. It’s like when Harry Potter was on it. Oh he’s young, let’s pretend he’s a rich mummy’s boy, and make sure he goes on about sex a lot, because that’s what boys do! Yeah, the cameo’s just seemed forced to me and ruined it. Obviously you liked them a lot more than me, but I hope you kind of understand what I mean. Camp Damo was quite funny, I just didn’t like it when it went all melodramatic and stuff, I just think it ruins the comedy, I really disliked the last 10 or so minutes of The Office finale… Please don’t despise me!
I’ve seen his bath faces, yeah… I guess you’re easily pleased? Haha, Only joking!
Of course I know the laugh, he does it all the flippin time! Go through all his DVDs on Amazon or something and see how many of the covers feature that laugh.
I will watch it just for you. Ha, didn’t Piers get kicked out of America for being so bloody annoying? I think there was a real petition.
I think you just see it differently to me, I’m sorry but no, I don’t understand where you’re coming from! At all!!
I think both episodes you mentioned are executed fantastically and are witty, clever and well written. You’ve described elements from them yes, but it’s a pretty simplified view.
Anyway, love you too. I’m not going to sit here defending stuff, we clearly just see it differently!
Yeah I think they started a petition haha. Glad it didn’t work, we don’t want him back!
Twin fight!!!
I give up, you win.
Oh no don’t say it like that 😦
You…have strong opinions sometimes!
I said love you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And meant it!!!!!!
It’s okay, I don’t want to bother you with any more of my “simple” opinions. You’re just lucky it’s not April fools day otherwise I’d probably continue this pretence of being all upset hahaha!
I know and it meant the world to me!!!!!!!
Oh don’t say that you idiot! April Fools or not I don’t want any bad feeling. I do really, really, really, really like you. And love you. And cherish you!!!!! “I can’t liiiiiiiiive…………….if living is without youuuuu”
I didn’t call your opinions simple (I’d never do that! And you already know I think you’re smart and funny.) just that you’d simplified those episodes – in my opinion.
I was going to start kind of, arguing the toss and saying what I thought in contrast, but then I thought what’s the point in that?! We just see things differently, fair enough!
So…..what do you think about On the Buses?
I think On the Buses is the greatest thing since sliced onions! Did you know that Jack (Bob Grant) killed himself because he was a classically trained actor and couldn’t get any serious roles afterwards? What a cheery mood I’m in!
Seriously?!!! I had no idea!
Happy Tuesday! 😦
You gotta admit Damian, at least the Jezza Kyle show makes us feel better about our lives.
Yeah, my teeth are awesome!
I’m sure they are blogging brother.
Hi Emma, check out the link in the comments section. It’s a clip from Jezza Kyle and the guy is so ridiculous.
Haha, okay cheers Vinster! 🙂
Let me know what you thought of it Emma.
While everyone’s discussing Jezza Kyle, I found a link to one show that was just unbelievable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGJ4AAdvIas
Did you check out the Jezza Kyle link yet Damian? I’m sure it’ll give you a right laugh.
Not yet mate, sorry, I’ll have a look later on, I’ve gotta hit the road, Jack!
I understand, I’m telling you though, the guy on it is just so ridiculous.
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