Stars: Kanako Ooba, Kikurin, Tamakichi Anaru
Warning: Graphic imagery ahoy!
Kana tries to end her starring role in an abusive porno. For her, the end comes only after she’s been reduced to a “Tumbling Doll of Flesh”.
“Tumbling Doll of Flesh” aka “Niku Daruma” aka “Psycho: The Snuff Reels” aka “Judge For Yourself” aka “Weekend at Bernie’s 3” is pretty hardcore, and I’m not just talking about the pornography that fills most of the second act. It’s probably one of the most graphically violent and brutal films I’ve ever seen. It falls into the same ilk as the first two “Guinea Pig” films, and genius director Daisuke Yamanouchi’s “Muzan-e“. If you aint down with these films, well, they’re in the Japanese Pseudo snuff genre and they’re known for their unflinching realistic torture gore and quite terrific practical effects. This particular film brought to us by Tamakichi Anaru (who’s name means anal in Japanese) is all about cheap and nasty. It’s like the kind of thing you’d see on a VHS tape wrapped in a bin bag that you found in those woods where there’s been reports of a couple of rapes. Although saying that, there is a few points during this film where I think the realism is totally lost, and that’s a shame. Let’s just get into it eh? (yeah, the Weekend at Bernie’s thing was a joke)
Soooo, the first scene shows some guy watching a snuff film and eating snacks as we hear a couple of answering machine messages. Of course the version I’m watching has no subtitles, I’d want it no other way to be honest, but I believe these are the voices of the victims of the piece. The guy watching the snuff is the director (simply billed as “Snuff Video Director) and the voices are Kana and Kiku, two pornstars that want to appear in his next sex project. I’m doubting at this point if they’ve seen any of his previous work. Next comes the first real problem I have with this film. The cameraman (Snuff Video Cameraman) walks upstairs towards SVD’s place and we see little snippets of what’s to come in about fourty five minutes time, basically the snuff part of this fake snuff film. I just think that takes a lot away from the realism aspect, like, would a weirdo snuff director really edit it like that? I doubt this.
In turn we meet Kana and Kiku as they pop round to SVD’s house for a chat. It seems really easy to audition for the part of an extreme sex fetish person in Japan, they even take Kana down to the shops to pick up some Oreos while SVC follows her every step of the way like a top snuff cameraman should. Eventually, we’re in the bedroom where the vast majority of the rest of the film takes place as K&K are wearing nothing but towels. They’re soon discarded too as sexy time is about to begin. It starts off mild as all the great extreme porn videos do, it’s good to know that even though they’re eventually going to kill and chop up their actors, these filmmakers are bedding us in slowly. Another thing as well which always makes me chuckle in these mental Japanese films, however disturbing and gory the violence gets, the todgers and muff are always pixilated, yet they still show jugs and jism. Arigato!
Alright then, I’ll talk you through the next ten minutes pretty quick. It basically goes cunnilingus, fellatio, missionary, doggy, cowgirl, back to missionary but with Kana’s legs in the air (whether that has a different name or anything, I’m not sure), aaand bosom climax, although he does manage to miss both jugs. That’s what auditions are for! Oh yeah, at one point there’s a funny bed breaking incident, hahaha! Oh okay, it’s not exactly hilarious, but it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a snuff film anyway! SVD wipes Kana’s chest with some paper towels (perks of the job) and seems to congratulate her. Well that was easy. At this point I should say that neither Kana or Kiku are exactly oil paintings by the way, it’s a long way from those J-pop videos we watch on youtube late at night… crying.
Yay! Bonus animal snuff scene in our fake people snuff film! It’s dinner time and SVD is cutting up some lobster type things as they’re still alive and moving. This is reminiscent of the turtle scene in “Cannibal Holocaust”, and we all love that one, right kids? (Of course I’m joking at this point, please don’t report me to PETA). Everyone’s looking relaxed and happy before we cut to a bizarrely edited scene of Kana standing outside with a bunch of kittens which don’t get harmed in any way. Score! Back inside and our foursome are sitting around a table with pages of script in front of them as if this was a rendition of Hamlet. Kana’s looking somewhat subdued however, I’m not sure why. Oh yeah, it’s bondage time!
So Kana is kneeling on the bed as SVC ties her arms behind her back with a long rope before wrapping it around her milkers as SVD offers encouragement. SVC then starts shoving a white thing up her wrong’un as she struggles and complains like an amateur, but the guys just laugh and pour hot candle wax on her arse. Kana reacts to this like she’s getting stabbed. I don’t know if you and your mates ever went through a drunk candle wax contest phase like I did, but it’s hardly the worst thing in the world. It’s a second of pain and then you get the incredibly satisfying experience of peeling it off. I’ve never had it on my buttocks, but come on, it’s not like it’s being poured into her eyes, which I can tell you from experience, isn’t a very good idea. After a bit of whipping which Kana seems to take a lot better, SVD gives her an enema and at that, she’s giving it all safe words and stuff so SVD gets all pissy and slaps her before ending the shoot… for now.
Now we come to the worst part of the film. Kana decides to leave and SVD follows her. As she’s putting on her shoes, he twats her in the head with a baseball bat. This is the only part of the whole film that isn’t shot like it’s either one of the antagonists with the handheld camera, or the one on the tripod. There’s even about four cuts and a close-up as he reaches for the bat. Why is this even in there? Why not just have SVC follow as well so he could film it? The actual hit with the bat looked completely soft too, so just as we’re finally getting to the good parts, I’ve been completely taken out of the film. I mean, even some weirdo who’s name means anal in Japanese could understand that this was a bad idea surely. Oh well, I guess I just have to let it go as we’re coming to the final part of this heart warming tale.
Kana’s totally knocked out and has a nasty gash on her head, so the guys put a bandage around it and tie her to the bed as Kiku looks on shocked. What follows is half an hour of… well, let’s just say it won’t be shown on the BBC anytime soon, even if I did chuckle a bit when the guys decided to put a bra on her head. You can’t say that these snuff buddies don’t have a sense of humour! They get Kiku to start porking her as she lays unconcious and SVD cuts off her left leg with a meat cleaver. Kiku’s all like “what the…?” at this point, but carries on with his business regardless. Kana soon wakes up and starts screaming, so SVD cuts out her tongue using a combination of a knife, a potato peeler and his teeth before taping her mouth shut. He then injects her with something and cuts her right arm off. They soon make Kiku cut off her other leg, stab her in the belly, pull out her intestines and have full sex with the wound. As a passing gesture, SVD clocks Kiku on the head and castrates him before making a phonecall that I didn’t understand. Fin.
How do you even rate a film like that? Well, if this is the kind of thing you’re after, then I highly recommend it, but if you’ve unwittingly stumbled across this review because you searched “Weekend at Bernie’s 3” or something, then this may not be what you’re looking for (just in case you didn’t notice). I haven’t really researched this film’s availability, I doubt it’s on netflix, but I’m sure you can get your hands on a copy if you really tried. I borrowed it from one of my dodgy mates along with “Suicide Dolls”, another Tamakichi “Anal” Anaru masterpiece. That’s actually kind of a snuff anthology if you can believe that, but it’s seriously hard to review as nothing really happens. You know what? I’ll review it now. A woman sits in a room for about twenty minutes speaking Japanese over the phone, then shoots herself in the head. Another woman sits at a table for about ten minutes, then hangs herself. Another woman gets interviewed by some guy before commiting seppuku, and the last part actually involves some dolls doing something as hardcore gabba techno plays. It didn’t really hold my interest. Right I managed to more than fill the last paragraph, I’m off. Cheers.
Oh and yeah, happy belated International Women’s Day!