On Thursday nights, when i’m not punching flowers or church licking, I like to write dark love poetry based on fake celebrity girlfriends. Tonight’s attempt.. Jessica Tandy.

You walk on rose petals as children let go of balloons filled with helium. The helium represents your angelic head, the balloony plastic being your heart and chest. As the balloons float up into the sky you walk towards me. You are nice, I like you.

Just as you approach me, your smile turns to a grimace and you look down. A rogue thorn protrudes from your bare foot. A tiny trickle of blood flows from the wound and tries to form a small river but just seems to give up.

“Arrgh” you shout. A child laughs. You turn and slap the boy across the cheek in a very hard manner. This seems to shock you into confusion and you hobble away semi fast. I watch you escape my heart knowing I could catch you easily but don’t want to come across all rapey. As you disappear into a distant nonsense, the children look at me. I shrug then pay them individually for their services.

I’ll never forget you.

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